WhenI Get To Heaven
© John Prine

When I get to Heaven
I'm gonna shake God's hand
Thank him for more blessings
Than one man can stand
Then I'm gonna get a guitar
And start a Rock and Roll band
Check into a swell hotel
Ain't the 'Afterlife' grand!

And then I'm gonna get a cocktail
Vodka and Ginger Ale
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl
On the Tilt a Whirl
'Cause this old man is going to town

Then as God as my witness
I'm gettin' back into show business
I'm gonna open up a nightclub called
'The Tree of Forgiveness'
And forgive everybody
Ever done me any harm
I might even invite a few choice critics
Those syphilitic parasitics
Buy 'em a pint of Smithwick's
And smothert'em with my charm

'Cause then I'm gonna get a cocktail
Vodka and Ginger Ale
Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl
On the Tilt a Whirl
Yeah this old man is going to town

Yeah when I get to heaven
I'm gonna take
That wristwatch off my arm
What are you gonna do with time
After you've bought the farm
And them I'm gonna go find my Mom and Dad
And good old brother Doug
Well I bet him and cousin Jackie
Are still cuttin' up a rug
Wanna see all my mama's sisters
'Cause that's where all the love starts
I miss 'em all like crazy
Bless their little hearts
And I always will remember
These words my daddy said
He said, "Buddy, when you're dead
You're a dead peckerhead"
I hope to prove him wrong
That is ... when I get to heaven

'Cause I'm gonna have a cocktail
Vodka and Ginger Ale
Gonna smoke a cigarette
That's nine miles long
I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl
On the Tilt a Whirl
Yeah this old man is going to town
Yeah this old man is going to town