and it was the worst of times

September 29, 2000

    The webmister and I proceeded up the long flight of stairs and down the long flight of stairs only to stop for libation, then on to the door near the front. We were met by a serious looking man who wanted to see our stubs. (hey, no problem)   

   (uh oh, Houston, we have a problem) Somewhere between proving my existence and getting near our seats, I lost the vouchers.  The security guard, sternly told me I had to go to the Ticket booth and get vouchers... I told him that that is what I had just done and I wasn't about to do it again... didn't he have a phone or walkie talkie that he could use to just check.  This didn't set well with him because he obviously was not the helpful or sympathetic sort, and looked as if he enjoyed messing up people. From now one he will be dubbed the "insecurity jerk". (yeah, he had a job to do, but he did it in such a mean way) After a bit he made the call to the other security people.

   Those of you that were irritated, Yes, that was me over on the right side with 4 security guards flashing lights in my eyes and purse and so on. I am sorry if I messed your show up.

   I totally missed Iris...well I got to hear and see her from the side while I dumped my purse out looking for my tickets. She was so "on" so gorgeous in that dress and her songs just breezed through the auditorium like fresh spring air.

    There were people in my seats, Terry was getting that fed - up - I - married - an - airhead look, and I knew the people in my seats, I thought an actual friend was pulling a number on me. I can't even explain the size of the lump in my throat. The security jerk would not get my friends to turn around.... finally after Iris was done, SJ wouldn't move so I whistled and hollered and got my friends attention. Like an idiot,  I had given Rich and Julie MY tickets instead of the extra pair that was intended for them. While "proving" myself, I never found the extra tickets, until I caught the attention of the Rich and Julie  in my seats, and then like magic the extra pair of tickets appeared.

    Terry had gone outside to "cool" off because he couldn't watch me look for tickets  anymore (besides he has seen me do it with my keys a million times before) and it looked like we were doomed to stand on the sideline  (he has never gotten to sit in good seats ever....) Okay, so the friends get their real seats, I get our real seats, the husband comes back and security jerk (who by now knows what's going on won't let husband join me, won't get me, nothing - he was totally unprofessional and a major jerk)  Finally I come over and get Terry (who has been outside hanging with a co-ed no less) .... and we are nestled snuggly in our seats.

   The venue isn't sold out, there were no Marquees, no signs nor flyers- no nothing. With such a crack security crew, you would have thought that these people would be ready for the Armageddon Concert (the real one, not the band)  The acoustics were the absolute best I have ever heard, we were about 15 feet from the speaker on our right and another 20 feet from John on the stage. 

John is going into his setlist, singing the familiar favorites, we settle in and since the music is loud enough, and no ears are in my path I can sing along without hurting anyone.  He looks good, with a smile that just beams like the sun.  

 This is gonna be great. The show was absolutely awesome, and I have settled down when (dangit)  I HAD" to go to the bathroom... 

  No amount of  Extra Strength Depends would've have saved me, I had tipped a few and it was tipping me....so  I left my seat, ticket stub tucked securely near my heart...and tore out of the auditorium looking for the bathroom...it was up a flight of 20+ steps, down a flight of 20+ steps, around a corner and down a hall... (sucked big time and was far away) I ran at full speed, did my business, and tore back in record time...    I just missed one song. One frigging song as I took my seat, my husband looked at me and said....
   "You missed that Independence Day " song...
    (Here comes that lump again) "Do you mean that John just sang 'The Third of July'?"
    
  Terry looks at me real serious  "Yeah that's the one ... and he said  'This is for Reeda from Carey Grant Town, Queen of the Shrine and all the Shriners'"

   Okay, ha ha ha  I think to myself...that was so adorably hokey,  now I know he is pulling my leg.  Only my husband and John Prine know what a big deal this is to me, and John wouldn't, hasn't even made a peep about ever dusting this gem off...  I have bothered dear Mr Prine ever since I heard he sang it at a Farm Aid concert. I had gotten a hold of the lyrics and gave them to him....  mentioned it every chance I had.... hahaha, Terry must have been joking. 

  He insisted he wasn't.  So I asked the people sitting around us if John just sang an unfamiliar song....

   "Oh yes, it was beautiful, what was it?... You could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium"  they said it like they were entranced (and I am screaming inside, please somebody wake me up from this nightmare) but I managed to muster: "Wasn't it great? I just love that line "I believe that a thought has just gotten caught in a space as I walk around it" (again silent scream)

  Okay.... so there is that damn lump in my throat choking on silent screams and this time it makes puddles in my eyes...  I begin to wonder how this night could have started so great could be nose diving on me ...it just had to get better, no way it could get worse.  Taking a great big breath, I swallow the lump and hope that someone out there will have a bootleg.  Luck just was just a tramp tonight. (Meanwhile I'm feeling particularly horrid for taking these great seats away from Rich and Julie with the words, "Oh no, I didn't mean for you to have these really great seats...These are your pretty good seats a little farther back." Thank god they were friends and knew that I was incredibly stupid or something.

   The stretch of songs that include Bear Creek, Ain't Hurtin Nobody and Lake Marie are played and I'm getting happy feet.  I love this part of the show, David Jacques just gets so "into it" and Jason Wilber loosens up...and of course, John himself gets happy feet and just takes over. 
  This was the first time I have ever seen him perform Lake Marie where he didn't bust a string or 3... ever.  I don't know what the deal was, but either Jacques and Wilber are playing more on it and John has toned down, or they've changed strings or how they string....I dunno
 I didn't see limping, I just was totally lost in how good it all sounded. John and Iris were at their best, I just can't say how totally awesome it was.  Somewhere along the line I was handed 2 backstage passes and thought this is great, My luck has changed!!   I am still in a state of disbelief and  really not sure If I should go on  because it really really sucks and then gets cool....stay tuned for Campus Police, security jerks, and back stage beams.

(Ranger Mark, you are such an angel for standing by the whole time, don't think that your kindness went unnoticed - you are just plain terrific)