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JOHN PRINE
SHRINE TOP TEN LISTS:
I'm just tryin' to have me some fun...
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OF TOP TEN LISTS
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TOP TEN WAYS TO BE A PRINE SHRINER THIS HOLIDAY:
10: Consider life is a blessin' - at a delicatessen.
9: Don't hurt nobody - don't hurt no one
8: Give someone a therapeutic hula hoop
7: Nail your train set down
6: Give tickets to the carousel of love
5: Wrap the gifts with come home straight and curly ribbon
4: Clear the birdpoop from someone's hood
3: Gather together like birds of a feather
2: Tell a friend you love them
1: Find Jesus on your own and say "Hello In There"
(A JINGLE OF THE BELL TO CRUSHER, SKUNKEYE, DONNADONNA, JPPARADISE AND CRABBY CHAR FOR BURNING BRAIN CELLS ON THIS ONE - IT'LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET THAT SMELL OUT OF THE CHAT ROOM :)12/22/2008
TOP 12 List of Things A Prine Shriner Wants For Christmas:
12: a chrome crowbar
11: nothing but a big bunch of nothing
10: blue umbrella
09: a dog named dingo
08: a fish and whistle
07: red balloons
06: cedar box
05: one red rose
04: chartreuse 4 door lincoln
03: wooden roly poly
02: aqua blue silvertone guitar
01: musical snow shaking waterball
~ thanks kathy47 for thinking this up!~
Things You'll Never See A True Prine Fan Do:
~thanks CollegeKid@ISU for this list:
10. Attempt to engage a light blue sedan at a four-way stop
9. Get Mad or Angry
8. Try to get a tan while peeking through venetian blinds
7. Forget things they never knew
6. Drive a rental car without checking the brakes
5. Leave their saddle in the rain
4. Spend a lot for a smile
3. Come home from work with nothin' to say
2. Fight for a thing that ain't right
and the #1 reason why:
1. Ask questions they already know the answer to
Reasons "Daddy and Them" should be released:
~thanks old hippie and PMS*red for this:
10. Jim Varney would of wanted it released, RIP Jim.
9. Hey, I just spent big bucks for a DVD player.
8. We need a good dysfunctional romantic white trash comedy to relate
to.
7. John was great in Falling From Grace.
6. I've still got room on my video shelf.
5. Great cast of stars & Billy Bob loved making the movie.
4. In Spite of Ourselves is in it!
3. John Prine steals the show in the most important & hilarious scene.
2. It'll give us JP junkies a lot to talk about.
1. I won't blow up my TV.
ValenPrine lines:
 Love
has no mind, it can't spell unkind.
I'll
put my loving arms around your neck AH HECK!! ~Brad Taylor
Can
I go all the way with you?
C'mon baby, spend the night with me.~Nathan Smith
Waka
waka nuka licka would you like a lei? Eh? ~George Dinwiddie
Rainy nights were made for lovers ~Jim S
Someday
you'll awaken and open your eyes and love will be looking at you ~Jim
S
Only
love, love only, only love will do ~Jim S
And
I dream of her always ~Leonard Hogg
I just want to dance with you.~Leonard Hogg
She reminds me of a chess game with someone I admire ~Crusher
Now you bring the glasses and I'll bring the wine I'll rub your shoulders
just like they were mine ~Lisa Jackson
He's
my baby and I'm his honey, never gonna let him go ~George
Dinwiddie
I love you so much it hurts me. ~Barry Pitts
I'd be happy dear, if you could only be here, and always be near you,
forever and a day
Ways to Spot a John Prine fan:
~thanks to kathy47 & old hippie for inspiring this list.
10. They leave notes in the frying pan.
9. Favorite kind of music is of the "Really Bitchin'
Kitchen" genre.
8. A drink is named after them.
7. They watch reruns of Sabu movies.
6. They have 6,733,00 lights on.
5. Many flag decals on their car windshield.
4. Rug burns on their elbows.
3. No faded photographs of yesterday.
2. Their makeup is on upside down.
1. They wear Illegal smiles & overalls.
PREDICTIONS FOR 2002
Thank you "Hoggstradamus" aka Leonard Hogg for this list:
-Donald and Lydia will marry.
-Sabu will trade in his elephant for a Harley Davidson.
-The space monkey will go back into space on the shuttle.
-Illegal smile will become legal
-Dear Abby will retire on advice from Ann Landers.
-Barbara Lewis will come home.
-The car will finally hit the bottom of the bottomless lake.
-Flag decals will make a big comeback.
-Jesus, the Missing Years will be put in the bible.
-All countries will sign the landmines treaty and make this big old world
a little less goofy.
-Linda gets back from Mars with some cool new life forms.
-Every Prine fan will sign an organ donor card.
-Power shortages, don't leave the lights on.
THINGS TO DO IN THE NEW YEAR: by Jeff S - Clarksville, IN
10: Blow up your TV
9: Play chess with someone you admire
8: Trade a milkin' cow for a Singer sewing machine
7: Envision the details of romantic scenes after midnight in the
stillness of someone's latrine
6: Call a truce with the Fuller Brush man
5: Go back to the drive-in on Route 41
4: Take the star out of the window and let your conscience take a
rest
3: Get back your childhood souvenirs
2: Please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
1: Drink your beer like it's oxygen
TOP TEN: THINGS TO SEE OR GET IN THE NEW YEAR: by Ken Parme
10: Dear Abby dressed only in a blue umbrella.
9: Mrs. Tom Walker's beautiful daughter, Pamela.
8: A light blue Sedan and a chartreuse 4 door Lincoln.
7: A topless lady with something up her sleeve living in a Mexican
home on Lake Marie.
6: A brown necktie, a matching vest, and wing tipped shoes worn by
grandma, who walks real tall with pride while she's chain smoking Camel
cigarettes and drinking beer like it's oxygen.
5: A half insane English teacher who uses bicycle spokes and red
balloons to bring illegal smiles to minorities.
4: A nine pound hammer to break the hinges off of Lulu Walls' gate.
3: A turkey, pistol carved out of wood, and some gospel pie
2: Souvenirs from the Fuller brush man.
1: An angel from Montgomery.
ITEMS ON A PRINE FAN'S THANKSGIVING TABLE:
10. Scrambled eggs with catsup.
9. Quaker Oats for the priest.
8. White meat on the run & dark meat that's far too done.
7. Turkeys and pistols carved out of wood.
6. Coffee from the House Of Pies in coffee cups with miniature dogs.
5. Chicken leg for nibbling
4. Hamburgers and cheeseburgers.
3. Half a pound of chopped ground round.
2. Four Italian sausages.
1. A lot of peaches.
Things Prine and his Prine Shriners might do when they retire:
by Steve R. in Ontario
10. Plant a little garden and eat a lot of peaches.
9. Sit on the porch without their shoes and watch the cars roll by.
8. Howl at the moon when they receives their pension check.
7. Stare at the rake on the front lawn.
6. Run stark naked and live in an old oak tree.
5. Throw their hands in the air and say, "What does it
matter?"
4. Sit in the bathtub and count their toes.
3. Stare down a bowl of oatmeal, and win.
2. Knock their old balls 'round the old golf course.
1. Fish and whistle out on Lake Marie!
PRINE LINES FOR THESE TROUBLED TIMES #2:
by the webmistress
10. For if heartaches were commercials we'd all be on T.V.
9. Yesterday morning an ill wind came.
8. The air's as still as the throttle on a funeral train.
7. Blue umbrella rest upon my shoulder hide the pain while the rain
makes up my mind
6. Collected volumes of history say "Man makes mistakes most
everyday."
5. Come sit beside me on the swing And watch the angels cry
4. And the sky is black and still now on the hill where the angels
sing
3. The world was angry. The world was mean.
2. It's a mighty mean and a dreadful sorrow, it's crossed the evil
line today
1. Where does this sorrow all turn into joy?
TOP 10 PRINE LINES FOR THESE TROUBLED TIMES:
by Jim S
10. My heart's in the ice house, come hill or come valley.
9. Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios.
8. Sadness leaks through tear stained cheeks.
7. Broken hearts and dirty windows make life difficult to see.
6. To believe in this living is just a hard way to go.
5. It's a crooked piece of time that we live in.
4. The dove of love fell off his perch.
3. Jesus don't like killin', no matter what the reason's for.
2. A heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
1. When we get through, we'll make a big wish that we never have
to do this again.
Chores a Prine fan needs to do this fall:
by JP1fan and PMS*red
10. Bondo the car some more
9.
Bring saddle in from the rain
8.
Fix the squeak in the catwalk
7.
Charge the dead battery on my automobile
6.
Drain and store that rubber hose
5.
Get out the corduroy
4.
Use that rake that grampa's been staring at in the front yard
3.
Install storm windows
2.
Bury Jehosaphat
1. Go
to the bank, join the Christmas club, get 10 U.S. flags and stick them
everywhere!
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